The Next Step

So I guess I’m not going to be continuing with this blog after all.  Instead I’ve started a new one!

If you’ve been reading this one and want to see some new content please feel free to follow my new blog here:

PS Barbosa – In Pursuit Of

It’s a different type of blog, more personal, more like a journal where I can just write and not worry too much about the content.  It might be for you, it might not be, but I’ll leave it for you to decide.

Thanks for reading!

P

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To Be Continued

About a year and a half ago I started this blog as a way to exercise my writing skills.  I hadn’t written in a while prior to starting the blog so it was a chance to shake off my “pen” so to say and see if writing was something I still enjoyed.

Writing to me has always been something I could do and just get lost in.  After doing the blog for a few months it was clear to me that writing was definitely something I wanted to continue to do.  Something about writing has always been very therapeutic, calming, and most importantly fun for me.  Just over a year ago I made a plan for this blog and so far everything has been going great.  However in order for me to see the entire plans through I will need to focus my time to following through with the rest of my original plans.

This unfortunately means no more weekly blog posts for a while.  This blog has really been mainly a test blog.  It’s helped me see what I can write about, test different writing styles, and see what topics generate the most interest.  Now it’s time for me to go to the next step of the original plan and make a few actual blog sites.  It will take some time an more planning, like all things do, but hopefully I’ll have some exciting blogs to launch come the end of the year.  Well, at least that’s the goal.

I’ll still keep this blog, but it’s going to be a more personal blog with sporadic posts and random topics.  So that means this will be my last regular blog post for a while.  Thanks to anyone who’s been reading this up to now! Be sure to check back from time to time.  There’s lots to come, I’m actually pretty excited for what’s next, so stay tuned!

To be continued…

Thanks for reading! Feel free to leave comment, I always love hearing from all of you.  If you like what you’ve read also don’t forget to click the follow or email subscribe button so you’ll never miss a post! P.

The Honeymoon Phase

The honeymoon phase.  That ever so exciting time where you and your lover have just started dating and can’t get enough of each other.  Things are going great and everything is mostly sunshine and lollipops.

Fast forward a year or two later.  Perhaps things have slowed down, maybe you’ve moved in together, see each other on the regular, and things are a little less new and exciting.

For some couples when the honeymoon phase is ending and that chemical high that has had you in a fog starts to fade away comes a time of doubt.  A time where you start to feel stagnant, or maybe you even start to question what you saw in your lover in the first place.

Some couples break up at this point, as they long for that feeling again, that high, almost like a drug.  In reality, no matter who you end up with, there will usually be some sort of honeymoon phase, and no matter what, there will be a time when that phase ends.  Does this mean that all is doomed?  Not at all.  In fact I think that this is where love gets even better.

The end of the honeymoon phase marks the ending of passionate love and if your lucky the beginning of compassionate type love.  Passionate love usually happens quick and is intense in the beginning, but it is also usually as quick to end as it was to begin.  We tend to fall passionately in love easily with people whom are good looking, charming, and with whom we share many interests with.  These people may seem to be “the one” at first, but in time once the dopamine and endorphin’s of the honeymoon phase wear off, you realize that they really aren’t the right one for you.

If you are lucky however, the person with whom you fall in love with and share passionate love with, will also be the one with whom you can fall into compassionate love with.  This is the long lasting type of love.  It’s the love that see’s the person for everything they are, good, bad and ugly, and with whom you still want to be because all their characteristics make them who they are.

Does this mean that everything is boring after the honeymoon phase?  Absolutely not.  In fact this is where things get really great.  The truth is that you just need to learn how to keep the passionate love going.  This means not getting complacent, going on dates, and continuing to keep things fresh.

As much as we like some safety and routine, the dopamine and endorphin’s from the honeymoon phase can be replicated throughout a relationship’s lifetime.  You just have to remember that the person is the same one you fell for in the first place.  Don’t try to recreate, but rather let the love grow, and give them a reason to keep falling in love with you over and over again.

Thanks for reading! Feel free to leave comment, I always love hearing from all of you.  If you like what you’ve read also don’t forget to click the follow or email subscribe button so you’ll never miss a post! P.

The Eternal Debt

What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think of debt?  If you live in the same city as I do and own a detached home, the first thing that may come to mind is your mortgage.  If you’re a student, maybe its your tuition, and if you’re a business owner then maybe its your line of credit.

Most debt is usually taken out as an investment.  You borrow money now in hopes that someway down the road you will be able to pay it back and get something in return.  The one thing that is certain is that all debt must be paid back at some point.

When thinking about debt, there is another type of debt that may not come to mind right away, and that debt is the debt owed to your parents.

Depending on where you are from, the average cost to raising a kid until they are 18 years old is roughly $250,000 – $300,000.  Financially, that is a good chunk of money.  Just imagine if your parents told you that you had to start paying them back for the cost of raising you for 18 years with interest.  That repayment plan would probably take a very, very long time.  Thankfully, that’s not how it works in the grand scheme of things.

Aside from a large financial cost, there are all the other costs that go into raising a kid.  The time spent with them, the sleepless nights, the emotional energy, and all the other intangibles that can’t be financially measured.  It is hard to measure the the value  of these intangibles, but their worth is probably priceless.

The older I get, the more I realize how much my parents have done for us kids.  It also makes me wonder, how can a son or daughter ever pay their parents back for everything they have done for them?  Is taking care of your parents when they get older enough?  I’d say no.  That is not enough, that is just the least you can do for your parents when they are old.

You could pay them back for how much it cost them to raise you, but that’s not really the point.  Plus by the time you can pay them back, they probably don’t really need that money anymore.  If you ever want to see a great example of what unconditional love is, you don’t have to look much further than the love parents have for their children.  They do so much for their kids with the hopes that their kids will have a good life in the future.

That’s why I refer to the debt owed to your parents as the eternal debt.  They make a huge investment in you, and never expect that “debt” to be repaid.  That is what makes this debt so different than other debts.

So back to the question how can a son or daughter pay back their parents for everything they have done for them?

I’ve come to the realization that most we can’t ever really pay them back no matter how much we might try.  The best thing you can do is to be appreciate and grateful that you have loving parents.  Love them back the same way they do you, and usually that’s more than they could ever want in return.

Instead of paying them back, pay it forward instead.  Pay it forward to the kids you have one day, or if you don’t have kids pay it forward to your nieces, your nephews, your friends and your loved ones.  Pay it forward so that the love that you received from your parents gets shared and spread ten fold.  Maybe then, that eternal debt will finally be repaid in full.

Thanks for reading! Feel free to leave comment, I always love hearing from all of you.  If you like what you’ve read also don’t forget to click the follow or email subscribe button so you’ll never miss a post! P.

 

 

 

Single and 30

So you’re single and 30.

Maybe you’ve been single for as long as you can remember.

Maybe you were in a long term relationship for most of your 20’s that didn’t work out, and  haven’t been in a relationship since then.

However you got here doesn’t matter as much as the fact that you’re 30, and single.

At 30 you should be married or engaged, have a great career and maybe have a kid or two by now right?  Welllll… that may have been true if you were born in the 60’s or 70’s, but nowadays that’s becoming more the exception rather than the rule.

Being single and 30 ain’t all that bad.  Here’s some good things about being single and 30:

  • You’ve got some experience – You’ve probably been in a few relationships, and have had fun dating.  Experience is never a bad thing, in life or in the dating game.
  • You’re comfortable being on your own – Just don’t get too comfortable, that you get too set in your ways if you ever do want to settle down with someone eventually.
  • Having had some experience, you know what you want and what you don’t want in a person whom you might date which means less time spent entertaining the rift raft, and more time with the quality ones.
  • You’ve had sometime to establish yourself which means your career is probably on the right track.  This means you have time to date, if you want to, without having to worry too much about all the other things you’re trying to accomplish as well.

When it comes to how old you are and dating, it’s best to not let the pressures and so called “norms” of society get you down or influence you.

This means not freaking out if you’re the only single person in your group of friends, and not getting too annoyed when your family  keeps asking if your dating someone or not.

It means not being concerned that people around you have babies, or that every time you log into social media there is another engagement announcement staring you in the face.

In today’s day and age, there is no rush.  The expected life span of people is the longest it’s ever been, and advances in technology have opened up alternative choices that have made having kids later in life no big deal.

When it comes to finding love or being ready to settle down, there is no set timeline.  It happens when it happens.  Age ain’t nothing but a number, unless you let it be more than that.  So to you, who are single and 30 I say enjoy it, embrace it, and don’t take it for granted.  You will  find love one day, even if you may think otherwise.  There is someone out there for everyone and one day you’ll eventually find them, so don’t forget to enjoy the time while you are single, no matter how long it is, because you won’t be single forever.

Thanks for reading! Feel free to leave comment, I always love hearing from all of you.  If you like what you’ve read also don’t forget to click the follow or email subscribe button so you’ll never miss a post! P.

Is Dating Easier For Guys or Girls?

Ask a guy and he’ll say girls have it way easier.

Ask a lady and she’ll say guys have it easy.

So who’s right?  When it comes down to it, both genders have their pros and cons when it comes to the dating game.  Let’s look at the guys first.

Dating as a guy:

Pros:

  • You don’t really have to worry about your safety too much. – If you get hurt from your date, you probably had it coming to you.
  • You have more control of who you want to approach. – The rare time a girl picks you up is always a plus.
  • Dating when older is the same if not better than when  you’re younger – 20 and single, great.  25 and single, super.  30 and single, no big deal.
  • Easier for men to find someone they are attracted too – Lets face it, it’s not that hard for a guy to find a girl they are attracted to.

Cons:

  • Dating can cost a bit more – Paying for drinks or food on dates adds up, unfortunately.
  • You will get rejected more often than not – It’s about a 1-5% chance that the person you want to date will date you as a guy, so get used to rejection, and don’t take it personal.
  • You usually have to be the one who initiates contact and makes the first move –
    Bumble app gives ladies a taste of what this feels like, which I think is clever.

Dating as a girl:

Pros:

  • You get attention easier – Guys give it, all the time.
  • You don’t have to make the first move, usually – If a guy is into you, you’ll usually know it.
  • Drinks and dinners are usually paid for – Hungry?  Line up a date on Tinder for a free lunch.
  • You have more options of who you want to date, until you get older (see CONS) – I’ve heard a few of my girl friends say, and I quote “I’ve never had a problem getting a guy.”  On the other hand I’ve heard a lot of guys say “Why, why not me??”

Cons:

  • Safety can be a concern from time to time. – Always let someone know where you’ll be.
  • You get lots of unwanted attention. – Creepy attention, stalkers, and weirdos.  Not what the doctored ordered.
  • You might be waiting a while for the right guy to step up to you –  Lots of attention, but few in quality.
  • Guys won’t leave you alone when you want them too – You haven’t messaged back in over 2 weeks, can’t they take a hint?
  • Being single and over 38 as a girl can be tough, potential candidates are few and far between – Unfortunately, age sort of matters as a girl.
  • Can end up alone and with a kid. – It can happen.

Looking at the lists above, it seems like each gender has their unique pros and cons.  I was initially going to say that ladies had it easy but the more I think about it, the more I have to agree that dating is harder for girls than it is for guys.

The main reason dating is harder for women is that they seem to have more of a limited time frame where their PROS are applicable.  The exact opposite for guys.  Guys options get better the older they get.  Also, girls have much more CONS to dating in the fact that there are more serious CONS to dating as a girl than a guy.  Girls basically have more to lose than guys.  Maybe that’s why girls say no to most guys who try to date them, they can be selective, and they should be.

So ladies and gents, there you have it.  Just remember, no matter what you gender or dating situation, dating is never all rainbows and sunshine, for either anyone, at anytime.  So be nice to each other, and have fun.  Happy dating!

Thanks for reading! Feel free to leave comment, I always love hearing from all of you.  If you like what you’ve read also don’t forget to click the follow or email subscribe button so you’ll never miss a post! P.

The Most Attractive Quality

If you ask someone what attracts them most to another person you’ll probably hear a mix of different answers.

He has a six pack that’s as hard as rock.  Her smile drives me crazy.  She’s got a great sense of humour.  He is so smart.  His style is on point.  She’s an amazing cook.  I love that she knows how to dance.

The more qualities a person see’s in someone increases the chance that they will want to date them.  Some even go as far as making lists of characteristics that need to be present in a person before they will consider dating them.

Looks play an important role when it comes to attraction.  You either like the way someone looks and are attracted to them, or you’re not.  Looks are completely individual though, to each their own as they say.  So other than looks, what is the most attractive quality that people look for in others?

In my humble opinion, the most attractive quality in a person is their PASSION.  A persons passion can be seen in their commitment to pursuing their goals and dreams.  It’s the fuel to their fire and the charge to their batteries.  When you look at the list of attractive characteristics above, if you really dissect them, other than looks, passion really is the root for may of the qualities.

If someone is passionate about fitness, a by-product will be a rocking six pack.  A persons intelligence often comes from their passion for learning and knowledge.  A persons sense of style may stem from their love of fashion, and the same goes for cooking abilities and dancing.

A persons passion is what helps set them apart from other people.

It’s no surprise that on the other end of the spectrum the most unattractive qualities are associated with laziness and lack of ambition.  There is no bigger turn off than someone who just doesn’t have much motivation or drive.

Some say opposites attract, and I think it’s true to an extent.  In the case of passion however, passionate people attract other passionate people.  You may not share the same passion, but you understand their drive.  Often people who share the same passions do end up being attracted to each other, after all it’s hard not to admire someone who shares the same passion as you.

So the next time you are dating someone, don’t be afraid to show them who you are.  Show them what you live for, what makes you tic, and what you’re passionate about.  It might be just what they need to see to make them fall head over heals for you.

Thanks for reading! Feel free to leave comment, I always love hearing from all of you.  If you like what you’ve read also don’t forget to click the follow or email subscribe button so you’ll never miss a post! P.